Art on a VW Bus #3

Art on a VW Bus #3

February 2013:

Flashback to 2000: We left organized church and stepped away from Christian culture, in order to pursue our understanding of Jesus without all the trappings. We gave up large Sunday morning services for small gatherings of very intentional minded seekers of Jesus. Such light, clarity, and pure moments of love.

In 2012, we returned to "full time professional camp ministry." For various reasons, it was a good move for our family. But one of the hardest parts of moving was leaving our tight knit tribe & spiritual community. Due to the nature of my job, I was thrust back into a Christian culture that I was no longer in step with. I found myself overwhelmed with the noise of extra verses, bridges, instruments, and, "Jesus, just...."  Where was the simple joy of gathering in the stillness? Where was the peacefulness of gathering in the presence of the Light?

This piece was done in the midst of one such extremely loud, and somewhat emotionally manipulative large worship/Christian concert gathering I found myself in. I sat as far back as possible in a crowd of over 400 people, wondering if God could hear my heart thoughts over the noise. In Quaker practice, I sat silently until I found Center, focusing on bearing witness to God's still, small voice. I aloud God's light to speak peace to my heart in the middle of the loudness.

My muddled swirling purple soul began to move into the stillness of Christ light.

Art on a VW Bus #2

Art on a VW Bus #2

Circa May-June 2012

Again, still enthralled with the mandala form. I remember wondering if a mandala would be more uniform if I used just the space of a square, rather than the rectangle of my paper. Similar to how origami works better with a perfect square. I was also experimenting with the different shades of color in the watercolor kit. For some reason, in many of my pieces, I depict a soul, my soul, as a purple color. And just as a soul, my soul, is complex, purple can be a complex color to mix to the exact shade that is swirling in my mind. 

In this piece, my soul was muddied, not the brilliant purple I want to be. There is a remnant of fun and free-flowingness in the purple swirls, yet it became rhythmic and repetitive. Maybe for some souls this would be a safe place to reside, but my heart yearns for more. The black line between the purple and the mandala felt like an uncrossable line. The mandala side is bursting with colors, bright and clear, with nuances of highlights. This is how I want to live. Yet too often, I am unable to cross that line. I get stuck in the expectations and the should have could haves. Yet, as I worked on this piece, I was encouraged. Even though I felt stuck, I had a vision of what I could be, of the soul work that was happening. 

And so, my tribe and I camp named me "Wildflower." To reflect who I am and will be when I live in the God given freedom of me.

Art on a VW Bus #1

Art on a VW Bus

There are two main ways I connect with God. Creating and Nature. In the past, connecting with God through Nature meant days long backpacking trips or hours spent in the canyons of Smith Rock climbing. Since moving to the Valley and working full time, I've had to find ways to connect with God that can be done in shorter stints of time. And so began my Traveling Art Pouch (I'll describe this in another post later.)

Circa May-June 2012: This one began as an exploratory of a new traveling watercolor kit I received from a dear friend. Green has always been my go to color: hence, the color of our 1979 VW Bus (yep, more later) I had been contemplating what my "camp name" for my new job would be. (Every one at camp has a camp name: defines parts of who they are that aren't necessarily covered in your traditional name. It becomes your alter ego.) I was trying to incorporate ideas of freedom, color, nature, green, flowers, etc. Much like the elements of my new tattoo. 

I was also enthralled with the idea of mandalas as a spiritual discipline. In many ways, this very asymmetrical free form mandala reflects my spiritual life. A major theme in my life with God is unlearning the "have to's." Letting go of the should do's. Finding freedom in Christ. I still struggle with this.

Obviously, this piece is unfinished....also very reflective of me. I'm continually trying to figure out who I am & how I relate to the world.

Oh...what's my camp name?  Stay tuned....

Another journal journey...

A peek into my journal....

Happy Rainbow Birthday, J-Bug!

Thought you all might like to see why I haven't updated this for a while....We were partying! Happy Birthday, J-bug!
Birthdays are big around here. The birthday kid chooses a theme and away we go! J-bug chose a Rainbow Party. Take a look....Each kiddo got to choose their own color of the rainbow for an Italian Soda. (That's what happens when your folks are opening a coffee house.)
Pretty gift bags all in a row! We made ribbon streamers, danced to Somewhere over the Rainbow, and hung rainbow curling ribbon everywhere!

When Life gives you scraps....

I’ve been quilting a bunch today. It’s what I like to do in the winter months when it’s too cold and blowy to garden. That and scrapbook. I’m a part of this block of the month quilt club. Well, I thought it was a block a month, turns out its usually 4 or 5 blocks a month. And to top it off, I was indecisive about which color scheme to choose, the modern colors or the more traditionally, so I chose both. Now I’ve gone from 1 block a month, to 8, even 10. Why do I do this to myself? It’s something I love to do, but then I end up in overkill, and the perfectionist in me won’t let go.

Here’s the irony: I love quilting and similarly scrapbooking because of the boundaries. I usually limit myself to 3-5 colors. Might have 4-5 patterns of each color, but there is still a limit. Then there are size constraints. A quilt block or a scrap page at 12 x 12 inches is an easy finish for me. I can start and finish one in a day if all the planets align. (As a mom of three, a business owner (2 business in fact), a crazy work schedule for my husband, and one who takes seriously her call to be a minister to all, there’s not a lot of hang time.) I want to see a finished product once in a while. I’m not even thinking about the finish quilt on a bed or a whole years album done, just a single block or page.

I’m seeing some parallels here, in my approach to crafting and life. Bite off a whole lot more than you can truly handle. Then step by step, scrap by scrap, find a small accomplishment. Enjoy the process of colors and chaos. Every once in a while step back, admire where you're at, make a brief plan and keep trudging through. My challenge is to know that it’s not my great artistic ability or my amazing organizational ability that pulls the whole thing together. It’s finding and relying on boundaries. If I start throwing in a different color in each block, the chaos becomes overwhelming and the patterns get lost.

In life, it’s learning the boundaries that God has given me. Like recognizing when my body needs iron, or my spirit needs quiet or my family needs “just us” time. I need to rely on God’s boundaries while I come through each crisis with a friend, all the scraps of her life that just got jumbled up….Maybe I will even get to help her put them back in order, in the pattern God has in mind. Through stitches of prayer help her hold it together. I need God-eyes for both of us see the joy in the process. (That is so easily said, harder to do.) Sometimes, after much time, I get see the final product of that block in her life. Hang around longer, maybe we’ll see the whole life quilt together. Life blocks sure take a lot longer than those fabric 12 x 12 blocks. (I’m sure there is some great lesson about patience in there!)

Maybe today’s boundary is to rest and enjoy my quilting. Speaking of which, I’ve got 7 more blocks to finish.

God is....

I did this art journaling thoughts during a lovely worship time at our friend's home this weekend.

Some thoughts on what God is and is not are written into the painting.

God....imagines, is about seasons of growth and rest, is about life, is freedom, is beauty, is a creator, sees me as I was created to be, is celebration.

God is not ....forceful, "just" anything, pain, all rules, pride, competition, small, only mine, only yours.

Beauty in all things

Several years ago, I read a book by Edith Schaeffer entitled Hidden Art. Schaeffer uses this book to elevate the art of homemaking to a spiritual practice. Although now somewhat dated (every feminist bone in your body might scream), the underlying message of finding hidden places for creating beauty and using one's home as a canvas is one that I hold dear. Examples? Like garnishing the asparagus with a pansy the other night. ("Mommy, are we eating flowers?") Adding doodle illustrations to the shopping list so the preschooler can "read" the list to me in the store. Or these little notebooks.........................
I made 20 of these this week as journals for the participants in Finding the Way of Jesus. Each one is made in a different color scheme featuring the FTWOJ logo I designed. This modern take on a Japanese style binding is acheived by using a stretchy hair band and a bamboo skewer cut to length. My hope is that these books will be a visible record of the things Jesus is teaching us.

My husband's comment was, "Wow, I was visualizing notebook paper cut in half, folded, and maybe stapled."

Just my small way of creating beauty in all things.